In c.2000, I was diagnosed with occasional (albeit rare) anxiety/panic attacks (which are part of my bipolar depression), tho they rarely happen in public. Most people would be unaware when I was having one, as I've developed my own 'coping mechanisms' to mask it from others (in public)... doesn't always work, tho...
One of the last ones I distinctly remember having, was at a Fancy-Dress party with my previous partner (c.2014)... I was dressed as Jesus (lol), but when they wanted to get me to join in on a spontaneous 'Best-Dressed' Parade, I literally tried to hide from everyone in the room by standing behind a life-size cardboard cut-out of The Terminator... I just froze (and couldn't even talk)... I just couldn't connect all of a sudden, for no apparent reason! My partner thought I was just being silly or something... poor lady, understandably - she had no idea.
I honestly have no idea what 'triggers' them, as they happen so rarely.
I rarely had one on-stage performing or teaching, but if it happened, I just wore my 'playing/professional mask' and just pretended everything was OK and played/work thru it until it passed...
People who see me in Public assume I am an Extrovert (I'm NOT!), but it's a learnt "Mask"!
The intense physical/mental stress/anxiety I suffered resulting from my separation and divorce (in the early 2000s [plus I suffered two nervous breakdowns at the time as well... no fun!] ), left me with some permanent physical scarring, due to a severe case of Eczema. I now have a few bald spots on my scalp (one reason why I still wear my hair long [albeit in a neat ponytail], and usually wear a hat/cap/beanie - to subconsciously cover them), and a scar on the left side of my neck/face (which I hide with my beard). The whole experience has left me with some mental/emotional scarring as well, let's be honest.
Hey - let's be honest! Who doesn't get to their 50's without some 'emotional baggage', huh?
"Grounding" really works for me.. just to get outside (of the situation) and take some deep breaths and try to refocus on what is around me.
"With a "Panic attack", a person suffers from brief attacks of intense terror and apprehension, often marked by trembling, shaking, confusion, dizziness, nausea, and/or difficulty breathing. These panic attacks, defined by the APA as fear or discomfort that abruptly arises and peaks in less than ten minutes, can last for several hours. Attacks can be triggered by stress, fear, or even exercise; the specific cause is not always apparent". (Source)
"Situational anxiety" is caused by new situations or changing events. It can also be caused by various events that make that particular individual uncomfortable. Its occurrence is very common. Often, an individual will experience panic attacks or extreme anxiety in specific situations. A situation that causes one individual to experience anxiety may not affect another individual, at all. For example, some people become uneasy in crowds or tight spaces, so standing in a tightly packed line, say at the bank or a store register, may cause them to experience extreme anxiety, possibly a panic attack. Others, however, may experience anxiety when major life changes occur."
(NOTE: This post is not a "pity-party/woe-is-me" thing, as I'm simply sharing a very brief insight into some of the reasons as to why I may act so "up-and-down" from time to time.
All of this is quite frustrating for me, as I was always quite well health-wise overall, until my mid-40's! (I'm 57 now).
Blimey... I don't drink, don't smoke, don't do drugs, nor gamble, nor video games (Boring old fart, huh? lol)
I guess the 'joys' of a lifetime lived with stress, anxiety, and depression has caught up with my physical health!)
Peas be with ewe
Mal
Mal
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