Mal's Gherkin Pram: Asking for Help is OK

It IS OK to ask for help, you know?

I know I've had to swallow my stubbornness, pride, fear - and embarrassment - and sometimes ask for help! After all, I've been doing things happily and self-sufficiently for 50+ years, without even thinking about it... some days I forget I'm not 100% well.

For example, I've been so used to being able to effectively mow my own lawn... but once the vibration of the mower gets to my #MS hands, they become useless for a few hours afterwards, as a result. So - last time I asked someone to help me and mow my lawn. (Stubborn pride swallowed).

It's a male thing, I am sure: "I have been a self-sufficient able male for 50+ years - I don't need help to do such a simple task, surely?!" Yes, it's pride.

Updated: 3 October 2022

Why do I continually need to heed my own advice? I find it so difficult to ask for help - still! Both of my neighbours mowed my grass for me today (both without me asking them, either!), and I still feel so guilty about it! D'oh! I am so thankful, tho... feeling a bit teary, to be honest.

It IS OK to ask for help, you know?

So... what things do you find you need help with?

Article: "It's OK to Ask for Help"

( Source )

It’s okay to ask for help. I am an extremely stubborn and self-sufficient person. I love knowing I can do things on my own, but one thing I’ve had to realise over the years is that IT’S OKAY to need help. In fact, some days it’s absolutely necessary. I am strong, I am independent, and I am perfectly able, but let’s face it, there are days where MS undoubtedly takes over. There are days where I wake up weak or in pain, and those days I need a little extra help. Since being diagnosed at a young age, I have always taken pride in the fact that I am still able to do most things on my own. I have taken pride in that, because I have had to be honest with myself and face the fact that one day I may not be able to do everything I can do now, on my own. It’s hard for me to ask for help whether it be pride, or merely need to prove to myself that I can do it. However, over time and through experience, I have come to find that some things I think I can do aren’t always best done alone.

There is irony in the fact that while I love to extend grace and help others, I genuinely struggle with asking others for help myself. I think it’s because requesting help and support from others has a way of making me feel vulnerable. I always think that I should be able to do things all on my own, or sometimes, that asking for help will make me seem weak-although, sometimes, my body is literally weak. But, asking for help doesn’t make me that way! Sometimes, though, if you have to ask for help from a stranger or someone you don’t know very well, asking for help can be really scary or even embarrassing at times. I have an especially hard time with this one because I don’t want others to feel sorry for me. And, also asking for help from someone you barely know makes you vulnerable to rejection. I mean, what if they tell me no?! I have to remind myself daily that others may have their opinions and/or reactions to me, but that does not in any way define me. It’s important, too, that we give ourselves permission to ask for help. We need to remind ourselves that sometimes asking for help isn’t only OKAY, but it may be essential for us in a desperate time of need. It’s also vital that we remind ourselves that we are worthy of help as well. If you choose to see it in a negative light and ask for help negatively then only negativity can come from it. Choose to ask for help confidently and humbly, so that others will not only jump at the chance to help you but also gives them a way to contribute and do something good in return.

One more thing I would like to add to receive help, we must be willing to help others as well. While asking for help can stink at times, it’s nice to know you have the support and care of others. When we extend help to other people who have similar issues, it not only makes us feel good, but it’s extending the favour. Asking for help isn’t always simple, and sometimes it’s really darn hard, but EVERYONE can use a helping hand sometimes. Remember that, and don’t be afraid to ask when you’re the one in need of a little help yourself.

➽ Article: Asking For Help (by Dizzy the Donkey)