Obviously, I totally changed my mind about even offering him a friendly invite to play that gig next Sunday-week with Julian and I. It's Matts' loss, definitely not ours.
Matt is a classic alcoholic, the poor bastard. He can't see it, won't admit it, and does not want any help with it. His daily flip-flopping drunken rambles are really sad and pathetic. It's painful to see an old friend self-destruct - but as he cannot see he has a problem, there's absolutely nothing I can do about it. Ferk it.
Even Mick, who Matt looks-up-to as kinda a father-figure, can see that the vodka is starting to really take-over in the guys life. It's a real worry.
I've literally just got off the phone with Julian... he was in the car on his way out to Grenfell, so we had a good old friendly catch-up chat. It's so reassuring we're both like-minded when it comes to our music and friendship. He's a top bloke.
Eddie and I are getting along with a house on fire. We keep stumbling across songs we can play together... if we aint careful, the 'pool' of songs we could draw from will be heading towards 200+ songs! (The pool is upto 169 other songs already as it is! lol). In one sense, that's a good thing, as there'd be so much different material to draw from in any situation we could find ourselves playing in. As an 'electrified' or 'unplugged' band, the options to play almost anywhere are almost endless. Yay! We're doing it simply for the pure joy and pleasure of it, you know ;)
Next week Eddie and I will sit-down together and nut-out finalized arrangements for those 38 songs we'll concentrate on to start with. That's not counting those 169 other songs we could do. It will be a delightful pleasure for us. Julian (our drummer) and I are having a rehearsal on Sunday arvo at Milltown (at this stage Eddie is unavailable for this Sunday, but we'll see... ;) ), so we can run thru all that stuff together then. This is just gonna be so much FUN!
Next week Eddie and I will sit-down together and nut-out finalized arrangements for those 38 songs we'll concentrate on to start with. That's not counting those 169 other songs we could do. It will be a delightful pleasure for us. Julian (our drummer) and I are having a rehearsal on Sunday arvo at Milltown (at this stage Eddie is unavailable for this Sunday, but we'll see... ;) ), so we can run thru all that stuff together then. This is just gonna be so much FUN!
My writing is going well too. I'm still sketching bits and pieces as I go, thinking about it a lot of the time subconsciously... jotting down thoughts that come in the middle of the night sorta thing. The process continues, and I'm loving it!
It's really quite surreal using TWO computers at once at the moment! My old (but still working fine if somewhat s-l-o-w) desktop PC has been sitting here totally unused for about a year. I've only been using it as a backup place for files, along with another external hard drive. Using a different keyboard to the one you've grown accustomed to is 'interesting', isn't it? I've been ripping some of my CD albums (I have over 400!) onto my PC, just so I have a huge pool of source material to not only listen to while I'm working away here at home, but have ready access to them all if we need a copy for the band etc. At the moment it's upto 14.3 GB ...! Sheesh! I've never done anything like this before... uptil now I've just burnt copies of CD's rather than keeping mp3 and cd files! It's an interesting experiment.
Update:
Here's two pics of my younger two sons, when we were hanging out together in a park after a swim at the local pool on Monday. The ducks were after our fish and chips!
more animals
Peas be with ewe
Cyalayta,
Mal :)
Cyalayta,
Mal :)
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Sometimes tough love is the way to go Matt has to see he has a problem and want to change it and from what you say he is not there yet!
ReplyDeleteHad a laugh at the cat pictures.
Poor Matt... I've spent SO much time with him these last 18 months... i know him so well, which is a two-edged sword. Matt does not receive positive criticism or (what he considers) any form of rejection well. He seeks people who 'mother' him... he sought me out for this role in his life, but I cannot be his mother, easy as that. His friendships always depend on conditional acceptance... he needs and expects people to treat him a ceratin way whilst placing unrealistic demands and expectations upon them. It's a self-destructive cycle. The poor bugger.
ReplyDeleteUnfortunately, when he is NOT drinking, he can see and appreciate this about himself. He HAD been taking positive steps to address some of these negative issues in his life recently, and seemed to be going well.
However... I fear he loves the vodka more than he loves himself. The vodka simply undoes all the emotional work he's tried to undertake. :( Very very sad.
Whilst i'm still his friend (which is his choice at the moment to accept that when he's ready to... I can't force him... I continue to leave him open-ended invitations from my end), i refuse to allow him to continually suck the emotional life-joy out of me anymore.
I'm so happy for you Mal...everything sounds so positive...
ReplyDeleteThe kids are getting so big!
Some people just need to be left by themselves to wake up to themselves. You would not be doing him any favours to keep pandering to him! Wish him well and let him go!
ReplyDeleteAs for those cats, me thinks one kitty must have very bad breath by the look on the other ones face!
Just a quickie, I've only just got back from Melbourne but wanted to say how happy it makes me to read that YOU are happy. Must mean we're friends huh? I'll read the rest later.
ReplyDeleteI am glad everything is working out well for you now, you deserve it.
ReplyDeleteI will agree with Chris, sometimes tough love is needed and people can't or won't see that they need help until they reach rock bottom. You have been a patient and understanding friend to Matt but I think you do need to cut the apron strings until he is willing to accept proper help and not just a nursemaid for his life.
I am really happy that you have a great housemate now, that you can share more than just he bills with.
hugs
Best thing to do is let Matt find his own way out of hell. until he knows he has a problem, no one can help him.
ReplyDeleteCUTE KIDS!!!
Subbing today...think of me!
Glad things are going so well at the moment. About time really, wouldn't you say? :)
ReplyDeleteYou have very handsome sons...they must make you proud.
ReplyDeleteWow- it's just miraculous that you have Eddie now and things have changed so much. You really sound happier- Yayy! Poor old Matt needs some frm guidance to see that his problem is ruining his life- you can only do so much, eh?! Hopefully he may see that he's destroying himself with the booze- but he may not. He obviously feels a huge emptiness and can't face it- only wants people who give him strokes. I hope he wakes up to himself.
ReplyDeleteThank you for all your thoughts and comments, good people.
ReplyDeleteEven tho i love him as a friend, Matt is not my problem, when he doesn't want to reach out in anyway. Tis sad, but you can't make someone do something they're not willing to... bugger.
My sons are drop-dead gorgeously handsome... and I'm not even biased at all in any way either! rofl.
Cyalayta
Mal :)