Saturday, 10 May 2014

A good example

I'm really beginning to realize how BAD my mind has become over the last c.14 years, especially when it comes to brightness/sharpness/snappiness, the ability to react and respond quickly and smoothly. I know all the $#it that has happened to and around me over that time has seriously done some damage to my mind, somehow, I'm quite sure of it. (I'm really not sure how to describe it, to be honest).

What would have taken me about 10 minutes [at most] to work-out this song, this afternoon it has taken me a whole freaking HOUR to do it!

In all seriousness, this would NOT have been a difficult task for me a few years ago. It took me time after time after time, over and over again, to GET IT! This would not have taken anything like this before. I'm not being arrogant or anything, that's how it used to be for me. I could pick things up practically on one or two listenings, and play it quite competently. Honestly.

And it's not because I'm simply 'out of practise', either.

After an hour of repeatedly playing this piece over and over again, at various speeds and tempos, I'm still not 100% sure within myself of playing it competently. It's honestly not that hard, really, for me to pick-it-up and play. I'd normally nail this sorta stuff very quickly and relatively easily.

And it's really pissing me off, that I simply don't seem to be able to do something that once upon a time I used to find really quite easy.

It's like the brain fog, but now it's even affecting my music.

I guess it's just part of "getting older"...


Peas be with ewe 


  1. Oh Mal! I think you will still be able to do it with just a bit more of the negativity flushed out of the old brain! You still have the slooooowwwwing of depression, as age doesn't affect native abilities like filling out a melody or chord set. You're just as intelligent, so your music intelligence is still in there hiding. With more confidence, gigs and an encouraging audience, you WILL get back to your 'old self'. My ability to make new tunes has come back - but I still can't fill them out in real life like I can in my head! I should keep trying also. But mine would be a new skill, not an old one. Keep on making music, mate. [hugs]

    1. Thank you, Kay, seriously!
      Just gotta keep 'flushing', so to speak. heh heh.

  2. we all go thru it...gotta keep going, don't linger...moving on is the key!!