Thursday, 17 September 2009

Things To Do

What would life be like without rhetorical questions?

11-yo cancer sufferer Jordan, on the phone to her dad: "Daddy, I can stop chemo!"

The best news you could ever imagine to hear!

"Jordan's Journey is a blog that chronicles the life of Jordan Vincent, a child living in Los Angeles who is battling a malignant brain tumor."

Local singer-songwriter Anita Willey played a fantastic one-hour live-to-air radio gig for 2MCE's "Sounds Live" last night. I was lucky enough to be able to 'tape' it for her and make a CD of it for her. Listening to yourself play is such a great learning experience, and she's grown in huge leaps and bounds over the past five months, it's astonishing.

I've been invited to play there as well, but it probably won't be for a month-or-so yet.

Oh, and I 'dreampt' another song again tonight... but upon reflection, I'd subconsciously re-written something else I'd already heard somebody else do. That happens to songwriters all the time... asking themselves "hey, hang on... doesn't this just sound like so-and-so?" heh heh. Tis just part of the process.

I'm sick of being sick... again.

I received a message sometime this arvo from a fellow singer-songwriter that she was playing in Katoomba this evening... unfortunately, despite me not having such a 'bad' day, I'm basically suck 'sitting down' this evening... so a 90-minute drive each-way was out of the question for this evening, dagnammit!

Now it's pouring with rain... so if I had gone it would have been driving back thru it, in the dark on dark wet country roads. Maybe it was a good thing I was still unconscious in bed at 9pm...

But I was really looking forward to hearing Toni Farlow play. She's seriously sensational as a writer and performer, in the same sensitive mold as Joni Mitchell.

I really need to spend some time with my boys, I really do! I'm missing them like... what I feel cannot be described in words. But I've been feeling so blerghy for so long, I'm afraid I'm gonna be out somewhere with 'em and feel like I'm gonna be 'caught short'... it's no fun, believe me. It's my shame, but it's just karma.

I know I'm not really going 'well' when I look at 'the list' of my 'Things To Do' - and there they still sit. Like, only today have I put out ads for finding a housemate, to basically help pay the bills. When did my last housemate move out? Was it April-ish? I don't remember.

It's not good, is it? But it's not a deliberate thing... it's just... a subconscious sapping, a slow, subtle draining-away of the life-force energy from within.

I even plugged in my electric guitar today, for the first time in like... a month? I put it down after a few minutes, as it simply... well, there was no 'passion / muse' or inspiration there to do anything fresh with it today. Oh well... meh.

Then I heard Mary Travers passed away today as well... it starts making you feel older than you are when people you listened and loved growing up with start falling off the perch all around you.

I'm not really 'depressed' today, just 'melancholy'. And I'm just really so soul-deep tired.

Welcome to my world. "There are monsters... and bears!" (That's a totally 'you had to be there' kinda personal gag there...).

"Seemingly I must be mad, insanity is fun" (John Entwistle, 1967).
Peas be with ewe
Mal :)

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  1. Awesome news for Jordan...Mal, play some music for her :)

  2. Cazzie...actually, that's a really good and interesting idea! [brain-gears start revolving] Thanks :)

  3. sorry that your having a bad day..don't make it many bad things that you love...cazzie has the right idea...or call your boys.

  4. Hey you! You spend time with those kids no matter how bleh you feel! Kids are way smarter than most give them credit for. They can certainly take the good with the bad. If you are down, they will only lift you, it will not rub off on them. So see them regardless and if you feel like a cry, shame in that. Kids these days are far more resilient than people think. They gain strength from their surroundings and learn so much in the process!

    I wish my biological father took the time for me when he was NOT drinking because I look at him now and only feel pity. I know he loves me, my mum told me so all my life! I was lucky but I have eyes and ears and I know he was a rotten father. You though, my friend are a great father! You love your kids! So share all of you with them. The good and the bad.

    When you feel down, tell them and they will strengthen you! Trust in them and yourself!

    Big, big hugs and smoochies xxooxox

  5. Lol@ the rhetorical question.

    Hope things pick up for you soon, and really hope that you see your boys soon too.

  6. Melancholia, although unpleasant can sometimes bee the source for inspiration for music, poetry, literature etc...

    Our youngest spent a few years being housebound by illness and it was awful to watch as she was alone in Sydney - her good doc was down there - she's recovering now but not fully - it is hard be be isolated by illness - especially one people don't see like a broken leg - hopeful it will ease sooner rather than later