Tuesday, 18 August 2009

Thank you

I wish I could copy-paste the amazing private chat and seperate email I wrote this morning, both with two online friends who've both pitched battle with the Black Dog.

But I can't, as this is a 'public' space. There are certain things I simply cannot or am unwilling to discuss on here. That's just the way it has to be, and I'm sure all my fellow bloggers totally appreciate what that's like with 'filtering' their own posts. No one totally shares absolutely everything about themselves in a public space like this, that's just realistic. Anyone who does (or thinks they do) is a fool. Any online blog, post whatever, is always filtered by a zillion things we want to or are unable to share about ourselves, or the situations that happen around us. We only post what we feel we can or are comfortable or able to share about online, that's just the nature of the beast.

I've been blogging for over five years now. So, after everything I have shared about myself and who I am, what makes me tick, what I have a passion and loathing for, what brings me angst... then if you don't know me by now, then you just haven't been paying attention! hahahhaaaaaaaaaaa! :D

It was that good for me to talk to those two online friends about certain specific stuff that way today. Thank you Kay and Shelley. Bless you.

I've just been doing a severe cull on my Facebook 'friends', as I'm finding some people simply don't want to communicate or share on any level about their lifes' journey, albeit talking about how many glasses of wine they've had to drink today. Life's more than just idle chit-chat, and I'm just fed-up of the brainless idle crap that goes on with a whole swag of people seemeingly endlessly on both Plurk and Facebook. I've waited and waited for people to begin to share on some deeper level, but they just don't. So I think a year is plenty long enough for me to try to get to know that small handful of people, don't you? If they don't want me to know them (or to be known), then iIm not gonna invest any more of my short time into that either. Bless 'em, but I'm not your "friend" if the communication is just a one-sided street, you know?

The flip-side of the toss is that i've experienced some amazingly in-depth challenging personal life-affirming chats, emails and online discussions with people who are willing to open up a little bit about themselves. It's been hugely beneficial to all concerned, and no confidences have been broken in the process. I guess a lot of people i've met on places like Facebook and Plurk simply use the internet on a wholly superficial, plastic faceless level... Twittering endlessly about useless trivia no-one is interested in, or just feeling the need to use the latest bit of software that comes out simply because it's new.... WTF is all that about? That's fine, but after hinting and suggesting for upto a year there's more going on they'd be willing to talk about, they just never do.

Well, it's like a piece of crude advice I once heard. It's simply this: "Fuck 'em! They're all bullshitters!" hahahahaaaa.

Lifes' too short to worry about what someone else thinks about me and all that. After five years of blogging, if they don't have a better appreciation of what makes me tick by now, then they never will, you know?

Oh, I'm just having a harmless venting rant. It's not aimed at my regulars here, ceratinly. I'm just really fed up with people talking endlessly about the mindless mundanity of life that we all experience every single day ourselves. Hell, my poop smells too, you know? lol.

Oh geebus... where did that rant come from? hahahaaa.

Oh yes... thank you to the small handful of people who realy actually do care about who I am, and make the effort (when they can... I wholly appreciate that time online is limited and condensed) to stop and interact and dialogue with me as a human being, rather than just as a faceless name on a website. Sincerely, thank you!
Peas be with ewe
Mal :)

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  1. Hey it is my pleasure to chat, read and listen to you and I totally understand what you are saying about some people's superficiality ... I don't say that I miss Plurk even though I was heavily addicted and I love the ability to hide certain people's status updates on Facebook. I like knowing about the real person... the face behind the text like you do.

  2. I don't think I realised that you had been blogging for so long.

    Sadly I think I fall into the superficial category, although I would say I am very interested in people. However, I am not always that good at expressing myself.

  3. Mal, we met on *different* shallow internet forum and found that, just like faceboook, myspace, and a bunch of the rest, they are not usually conducive to learning about your fellow man. I completely understand what you are ranting about when it comes to places like that. I have been reading you here for at least 2 years I would say, and I feel I have gotten to know you pretty well. You *are* a very open person on line, and when confronted with an intelligent and curious person of similar interests, you certainly do not shy away from pleasant conversation.

    I think that since we all filter on the net to a point, it is very hard to get to know someone on-line. Those of us who are mostly open, sometimes have to walk away because life gets in the way. It is those moments, those feelings that people miss, and those are big parts of who we are. How do we really deal with things when life gets in the way? What are our feelings and reactions?

    You do a good job of sharing what you can with people on that front. I don't do nearly as good of a job. Keep up the great work here Mal.

  4. You're all too kind! As a certain local performer might say, "You're such a fantastic audience, i should have you stuffed and mounted so i can take you home with me..." hahahahahaaa.

    And yes yes, i fully realise that people go online for totally opposite and varying reasons. What gets my goat is when people kinda say one thing and then never follow it up about themselves, so you're left in the dark about different things they started talking about themselves. Of course there is a certain level of superficiality (*that* was a word I should have used earlier! lol) people project onloine, i appreciate that. But not after a whole year, there should be a bit of the lowering of the mask or the wall a bit, you know?

    Anyways, their loss, not mine.

  5. Yep, there is no place in my life for people who are full of BS. I too have filtered through my FB friends..and those who ask to be added just don't get added if I know there will be no great convo going on.
    I also hate backstabbers..well, I reckon hate is too strong a word..I wold probably go with..a very strong dislike.
    So, you being you and me being me I think we would also get along just fine :) Just being yourself..having great days and some shitty days..I reckon that's life aye!
    Take it easy Mal and I have to say this... I think you rock! You have no idea how proud I am when I see you are working towards your goal of making music..and not just making it..BEING it! Feeling it..yeah.. I only WISH I could play a guitar :)
    Anyway..take it easy mate..rock on!

  6. Yeah but do we all have to piss in each others' pockets? There are some days I can reveal all and some days I can't, and I daresay all who read this may agree. Or not agree. I just don't know anymore.

    Can't we just accept each other and not expect too much from people who just don't have it to give at that particular time?

    I dearly love all my commenters, thank God for you.

    And Mal, continue to blog in your honest, no nonsense way, we love you!

  7. I have enjoyed reading your blog for almost 4 years now. What i love about your blog is that your honest in what your feeling...if your sad you write it and i feel sad that your feeling sad, if your happy I'm happy that your happy. It's your life and it's real.

    I only wish i could write half as well as you. I wish i had more time to put into my blog...i do what i can.

    Keep up the great work Mal!! I'll be here!

  8. Last night I deleted my whole facebook account. Not because of any of my lovely blog friends but because of my extended family. I am over it! I try to keep out of all their crap. But right now they are breaking my heart. I even have my limits. That Black Dog has been visiting here a little too much lately! Might start visiting plurk more often.