Now he says he does NOT want to play Saturday night's gig with us, and is demanding money for his share of the PA.
So yeah... he's flipped-flopped changing his mind about this gig four times.
Unfortunately, he's focusing all his negative frustration about his decision to quit the band onto me.
Tis not my problem. Let him rant and rave as much as he wants. I'm not owning his reaction. He's let both Julian and myself down in a major way yet again. That's twice in three days.
His reaction is totally childish, and I refuse to participate in it at all. Julian is as totally gobsmacked as I am.
Julian and I actually caught-up briefly this arvo (before all this broke!), and yeah, we were happy with our decision to keep going together (with a new player) and let Matt leave graciously, and give him a right-royal send-off on Saturday nights' gig, our "last hurrah" together. We were really looking forward to it, and so was Matt... or so we thought.
I actually asked Julian straight out, "Is it me? Are my expectations too high or unachievable?" He said absolutely not, as our agreed expectations are what is to be expected in any basic band dynamic! That was a relief.
So yeah... this absurd over-reaction and childish hissy-fit is just totally unexpected, and undeserved.
Matt may feel upset with us, but he's just redirecting his own anger about his own shortcomings onto me, which is really really sad, and rather quite pathetic.
I love the guy, I really do. He's been a good mate. It's really devastating for me to see him self-destruct this way.
What's worse is that there is nothing I can do to help him.
So... Julian and I will do Saturday's gig together happily as a two-piece band, and use the money earned from it to pay Matt off and say good riddance, basically.
He's really got nasty about it all, which is totally unnecessarily. It's very sad, really.
Peas be with ewe
Cyalayta,
Mal :)
Cyalayta,
Mal :)
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Oh dear, it's not much fun when you have something or someone blow up in your face. You seem to handling the negativity pretty well. Take care, though, won't you; he sounds volatile which is a dangerous situation.
ReplyDeleteHe's not gonna go bezerk and attack us at the gig, or anything crazy like that. He may come across as aggressive, but he's not that kinda guy - thank gawd! I'm sure he just needs some time to cope with coming to terms with his decision. I honestly love the guy as a friend, and it really upsets me to see him hurting - but he's pushed me away, which I have to respect his decision there. I can't force him. Just give him breathing time.
ReplyDeleteI hope this all works out the best for you - from the sounds of it, him leaving *your* band is the best thing possible.
ReplyDeleteI'm wondering how I get a copy of your CD... hmmm... it must be on your blog somewhere?
Thanx rantz. the easiest way is to go to the band website: http://nightbefore.fateback.com/ and order it thru there. No worries. Thank you!
ReplyDeleteWow! Talk about the drama llama~!
ReplyDeleteYou're better off without him in the band right now Mal. I am sorry he has been like this. "Self destruction" sounds about right to me. You are a good friend to feel bad for *him* after the chaos that he has caused and not be really angry at him. It shows how together you really are. I'm proud of you man, that takes a lot.
Hand in there!
I hope that everything will go well at your gig...
ReplyDeletesounds like it's the best thing to do is to separate.
| A lecyurer, when explaining stress management to an audience, raised a glass of water and asked: 'How heavy is this glass of water?'
ReplyDeleteAnswers called out ranged from 8 oz. to 24 oz.
The lecturer replied, 'The absolute weight doesn't matter. It depends on how long you try to hold it.
If I hold it for a minute, that's not a problem.
If I hold it for an hour, I'll have an ache in my right arm.
If I hold it for a day, you'll have to call an ambulance.
In each case, it's the same weight, but the longer I hold it, the heavier it becomes.'
He continued,
'And that's the way it is with stress management. If we carry our burdens all the time, sooner or later, as the burden becomes increasingly heavy, we won't be able to carry on. '
'As with the glass of water, you have to put it down for a while and rest before holding it again.
When we're refreshed, we can carry on with the burden.'
'So, before you return home tonight, put the burden of work down. Don't carry it home. You can pick it up tomorrow.
Whatever burdens you're carrying now, let them down for a moment if you can.'
So, my friend, put down anything that may be a burden to you right now.
Don't pick it up again until after you've rested a while.
Here are some great ways of dealing with the burdens of life:
* Accept that some days you're the pigeon, and some days you're the statue.
* Always keep your words soft and sweet. Just in case you have to eat them.
* Always read stuff that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it.
* Drive carefully. It's not only cars that can be recalled by their maker.
* If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.
* If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it..
* It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply be kind to others.
* Never put both feet in your mouth at the same time because then you won't have a leg to stand on.
* Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.
* Since it's the early worm that gets eaten by the bird, sleep late.
* The second mouse gets the cheese.
* When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
* Birthdays are good for you. The more you have, the longer you live.
* You may be only one person in the world, but you may also be the world to one person.
* Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once.
* We could learn a lot from crayons... Some are sharp, some are pretty and some are dull. Some have weird names, and all are different colours, but they all have to live in the same box.
*A truly happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery on a detour.
Have an awesome day and know that someone has thought about you today ....... I did.