I told him about changes that needed to be made. I told him about my playing the duo act with Eddie, as a compliment to playing in the band. I even yet again told him about his need to get some sort of folder with charts or his own notes together. I told him about how nothing has changed over three years, with himself and Mick playing together (especially after listening to those old 'tapes' of their rehearsals together). I even told him about my offer to become the band musical director. I told him (yet again) about the need for all four of us to sit down together and talk all this stuff thru. I told him about how I was feeling about the band, and how frustrated I am feeling, and that I wasn't going to leave or try to break-up the band, but realistically acknowledged that this may in fact happen as a result of all this.
I was frank and realistic, but not rude or aggressive. I'm not like that, really. I don't enjoy 'confrontation.' It's not my personality type.
He heard, but to be honest - I don't think he really "listened" to or truely appreciated anything I said. He kept interrupting, talking away and wandering off on tangents...
Yes, frustrating. Matt is a classic Aussie male... he wants to try and offer 'solutions' rather than just being able to sit and listen and hear what the other person is saying. It's like he just needs to keep talking, like he's scared of the silence if he doesn't or something. It's really strange. And his 'solutions' are quite unrealistic, to be honest. I'm not sure of he realises it or he's just in some sort of denial, or maybe he's just crazy! lol.
And he was even straight! rofl.
That's Matt tho. That's just the way it is.
He was saying things that he's been saying on-and-off for the past 6-ish months... same old story. He doesn't really want to play unless he gets paid for it... he always wants to play to an appreciative audience (don't we all?! lol), he doesn't want to gig very often. Altho I have to say I feel his musical goals and aspirations are fairly 'limited', shall we say. He wants to be a star... a big fish in a small pond.
I know Julian and I just want to play for the sake of playing. Doesn't matter if it's to 3 people or 3,000. We don't need an audience to "get the buzz from it", as Matt describes it. The "buzz", for us (and for me, certainly), comes mainly from creating and performing the actual music itself. We'll play wherever. Just as delighted to create the atmosphere in the pond, without taking the glory.
Dammit, I'm a muso!
And after a year of it, I just don't have the patience for his mindless bull$#it anymore, basically.
Call me a bastard, that's alrite.
Matt's said himself he needs to find some other guys and play the sort of music he wants to play. I guess the main problem for him is... I'm yet to be convinced even he knows what sort of music that really is.
"There it is."
The beauty of playing in a duo with Eddie is that - musically, for me, it's a no-brainer. It's like literally just turning up, plugging in and playing along to the backing sequences together. Ridiculously easy. Of course there's skill and experience required to make it work and sound effective, but it doesn't take nearly as much energy as playing with a whole band.
For me, it's simply "keeping my hand in" and getting me out playing in front of people again. Not for the buzz, just for the whole fun of playing. It's not exactly music I would normally see myself playing (I actually laugh at myself to consider I'll be playing in a "Lounge Duo"! rofl). But, dagnammit - it's fun!
So yeah... the last thing in the universe I want to do is play "clubland loungeroom music" in the bloody band! gagh! rofl rofl.
As I've told Matt, if everyone agrees that I act as band musical director, things are certainly gonna change in a new and more positive direction.
Gawd, I sound like such an @$$hole, don't I...?!? GAGH! rofl.
Peas be with ewe
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you gotta do what makes you happy...so keep doing it!
ReplyDeleteCaroline said just about what I was going to say - you have got to be true to yourself or you are unable to be ever true to anybody or any thing - but you know that anyway.
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