Tuesday, 6 May 2008

Getting Better

While over the past two days I'm feeling a bit brighter within myself (I'm running at about a 6 today), in front of me I've got my doctor's report about my current, erm, 'state of mind'?

Using a simple diagnostic test, the low end of the scale he used would be around the ten mark. On his latest report, my Depression = 30 ('extremely severe'), Anxiety = 19 ('severe'), and Stress = 27 ('severe').

So yeah... it's good to finally have a piece of paper in front of me, with my doctor's signature on it, that shows that I'm "not going so well" at the moment.

I know there are certain people who "don't believe it". That still unsettles me. Part of it is that those particular people don't have an appreciation of depression, and there some kind of stigma surrounding any form of mental illness for them.

Tis their loss.

But it still hurts me.

But today is one of my better days.

Coincidentally... I received the following news last night, after I was already on the 'upswing', so they are an added bonus, not a cause of feeling a bit brighter... [oh, I'm rambling... lol]

My housemate signs a lease for his own place today. So he'll be gone from here probably within the week. Thank goodness.

He's been fine. There's been no agro, negativity or stress at all. He's still a young grot who can't seem to clean up after himself. But things between us remain friendly and amicable (is that the right word? Oh, I don't know! lol).

I'll probably spend a few weeks on my own here, but I'll put an ad in the local paper for a new housemate, as soon as this guy moves out. It'll give me a good chance to really give this place a total clean-thru - especially his carpets! They are filthy!

Did I previously mention vomit...?!? Yuck.

The other positive news is that the band has landed themselves another gig. It's a Private Function in a great hall just out of town (no noise problems - but we're not a loud band, honestly! lol), towards the end of June. Thank goodness it'll be indoors... you don't wanna be playing outdoors around here in June, believe me! So yeah, there's something for us to look forward to musically.

We're trying to get together this Saturday arvo, if not to come around and have a social DVD-&-BBQ day (depending who is available), then two or three of us will get together and play some music. Sunday is 'Mothers Day' here. While it's just another day for me (as both my parents have passed away), the other guys in the band are obviously spending their Sunday with their families. I've made sure my boys are doing something for their mum for Sunday, oh yes! heh heh.

I might go for a drive up to Lawson on the Blue Mountains and lay some flowers on my parents memorials on Sunday. It's very surreal going to visit there, because, to me, there are "not there" as such. But it's a place to remember, all the same. I had a fairly positive relationship with my parents.

Gawd alone knows why I'm such a fook-up these days! hahahahaaaa.

I don't usually listen to much Beethoven. I'm a bit of a Mozart man myself - classical pop music, I admit it!

Be that as it may (cough), about a year ago I bought a set of Beethoven's Nine Symphonies. Over the last few days I've been listening to the 5th and 6th Symphonies on CD. Magnificent.

While the 5th is probably better known ("Duh duh duh Duuuh!" - thanx to Douglas Adams!), I personally much prefer his lighter, more melodic and floating 6th pastoral symphony.

To my floppy ears, the first main movement of 5th sounds like Heavy Metal to me... like something Iron maiden or someone like that would attempt. I appreciate what he's trying to do, but it's a bit too 'dark' for me at the moment.

The 6th, by contrast, come across with much more feeling, light and shade - and basically joyful! You can't go too wrong listening to joyful music, surely?

Peas be with ewe

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  1. I could never have lasted as long as you with that roommate. Yikes! Vomit on the carpet? Ewwww

  2. Joyful music makes the days feel brighter :)