10 Confessions From An Introvert
By Laitin Amanda
1. I hate the stigma attached to the word “introvert.”
That means a weird, socially awkward person we all want to avoid. To me, an “introvert” is someone who is selective about who they surround themselves with. It’s someone who is comfortable with being by themselves without feeling insecure. We value quality over quantity.
2. I love meeting new people, but only if you approach me first.
If I have to make the first move, it’ll most likely never happen. I’m silently imagining every possible thing that could go wrong and by the time I work up enough courage to do it, I’ve thoroughly freaked you out by constantly glancing your way and you’ve already sprinted for the door.
3. Small Talk for me is not Small Talk to a normal person.
I get deep real fast. I genuinely want to know your life story, what makes you happy, and what makes you angry. Don’t be surprised if I ask you how you really feel about your parents’ divorce within the first 5 minutes of meeting you. I’m not a gossip; I just genuinely want to connect with you.
4. We have a heightened sense for a fake or insincere personality.
Our quiet and reserved nature allows us so much time to observe. I see your fake smile and can tell you just lied to that person. I hear you repeat the same exact joke to every single person you run into. I’m onto you, extrovert.
5. If you point out my introverted-ness, I will silently hold it against you forever and also I probably hate you.
As much as we try to embrace our introverted-ness, many of us are still very insecure about it. You asking an introvert why they’re so quiet only makes things worse. Please stop making us all feel so awkward with this obvious observation.
6. Dear Hair Dresser: Please don’t make me talk the entire time I’m in your chair.
I’m sure you’re a very nice and interesting person, but after a certain point, I simply run out of things to talk to you about. I’m out of witty comments. I can’t think of any more normal questions to ask you. And my stupid comments will begin to emerge (see #9).
7. My ideal Friday night is Netflix binging with ONE or TWO friends.
I don’t want to be alone, but I also don’t want to exhaust myself by socializing with dozens of other people. Can’t we just throw on some sweatpants, make an ice cream run, and sit on the couch?
8. Please never make me to go a club.
What is clubbing even? Why would we go somewhere where it’s so loud I can’t even hear you? I’ll be in the quiet corner trying to engage in meaningful conversation with the other introverts if you need me.
9. Networking events = death.
There is literally nothing I hate more than having to meet new people in an environment specifically created for that purpose. I realize that’s entirely the point of networking events, but I feel so much pressure to make myself sound and look like the most interesting person you’ve ever met. I can only be charming for so long! Pass me a glass of wine and let me mentally prepare myself for this first.
10. If I say something stupid, kindly pretend I said nothing at all.
Rest assured knowing that my dumb comment/question will haunt me for the rest of my life. I’ll lie awake at night replaying the entire conversation in my head. I’ll think of a million other things I could have said instead. I’ll vow never to speak again! This is where my quietness comes from. It’s a vicious cycle.
Peas be with ewe