Thursday, 13 February 2014

Home at last

Stability is good! I've been here in my own new place for a few weeks now - and I'm loving the freedom, space and independence that living on your own brings. This move has been wonderful for my mental health - and even my physical health seems a lot more stable lately - it's a lovely feeling, believe me! It's nice feeling 'clear-minded' again, after a few months of the absolute-worst stormy weather.
The last few months have been absolute HORRORS - as I think is pretty obvious. I wear my heart on my sleeve online - not everyone likes or appreciates that - but I'm just being true to who I am, and that's the only person I can be - and I'm enjoying it again.
I have to admit there has been some emotional and mental 'scarring' for me, after all that has happened to me recently. I'm thankful for some professional help and support here in Bathurst, that I wasn't easily able to find in Warwick. One step at a time, but I'm feeling a lot better again - whew!
I don't have the phone or internet connected at home as of yet (finances are a bit tight for a few more weeks, but no biggie), so I'm very thankful for i'net access at the local Library and the radio station as well. It's only a 14 minute walk to the library, and a 22 minute walk to the radio station... all this walking is fantstic for both my physical and mental health... helping to keep the mind clear. Plus there's buses that come past every 30-ish minutes here at home as well, so that's always an option on these stinking hot or [soon-to-come] freezing cold days.
Now all I have to do is 'negotiate' [for want of a better term, as there are no legal issues involved with this] with the boys' mum, so that I can spend some time with them again. No, even now I have still NOT seen my own children, and I've been in town since November! Talk about emotional terrorism... but enough of that...
I cannot thank Mission Australia enough, for their support, assistance and encouragement. Upon moving-in, they supplied me - free of charge! - a brand new fridge/freezer, washing machine, vachume, linen and various assorted knick-knacks! I am blown away by this hugely-generous assistance [understatement!!!]
The place is 90% unpacked and settled-in, things placed where they seem best. I've so much more SPACE than I've had previously - and it's a refreshing feeling, being able to move around inside freely, without having to keep bumping into things! For the amazing rent I'm paying, this place is a real bargain! I've even been domestic enough to cut the front lawn grass for the first time... well, as it's so DRY here (and has been for over a year+, apparently), it was more of a grass 'trim'. I am starting to feel 'at home' at last.
Radio has been an absolute JOY! The contrast between the two different stations I've been working in, over the last 2 years, cannot be more in contrast! 2MCE here in Bathurst has a great set-up, brilliantly happy, friendly and helpful staff, and the station overall has a clear vision, goal and aims - it is a pure delight to be able to present radio thru 2MCE-FM! I'm still a bit emotionally shell-shocked after my negative experiences with the previous volunteer situation I was with, and somedays those negatives still linger in my psyche, especially when I'm on-air... but I'm re-learning to relax and ENJOY myself on the radio again. I simply did not have the freedom to be able to do that previously in my last radio situation! I'm very positive at how things are panning out for me at 2MCE - in some ways, it has felt as though I have not even left! All the other presenters (and staff, of course!) have been very welcoming and encouraging - which is such a beautiful feeling... to actually part of a functioning COMMUNITY again is such a soul-relief to me!!!
Overall, I'm feeling relatively happy and safe at last. I sincerely wish my friends in Qld a very happy, contented and healthy life, and I don't hold any inter-personal grudges with anyone, tho for me there's an inner joy of remembering some very special times I shared, while I was up there.
I'm very glad to be back in NSW, tho - bring it on!!!

Peas be with ewe 

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