I'm absolutely shattered and too distressed to talk about it. I've upset people I had absolutely no intention of upsetting.
I'm very upset that I have unintentionally hurt people I love and care for, yet that was never my intention.
My apologies if anything I say on here is taken out of context. I'm not perfect. I have good days and not-so-good days. Doesn't everyone?
This little band has been a huge vital and passionate part of my life for the past 18+ months. How can I ever feel anything but love and respect for these guys? Doesn't anyone else ever have an off day?
No, I was right... apparently I am an asshole.
I just didn't know it.
Looks like people do not read or respect this stuff... you know... the flashing note at the top of my blog page?
That blurb has been an upfront integral part of all my blogs ever since I started this journey almost five years ago. It's a given.
"Do not assume that you know everything there is to know about a writer simply because you read their weblog on a regular basis. Any judgements you make will be based on the information they have provided you about themselves, which is probably vague, incomplete or embellished. Whatever opinion you form on them as people, or their life as a whole, is probably best kept to yourself. Remember, you are the reader. An obvious exception to this would be if someone were asking for advice or opinions...
"... If you have a real life relationship with the writer, remember that communication is very important. View weblogs as online journals, no less sacred than a diary hidden between the mattresses. First of all let them know that you read their site, especially if they did not tell you personally...
"...It is important that as a friend, relative, co-worker or whatever you may be to the writer, that your presence at their weblog not impede their ability to express themselves. Remember this is their outlet. They may not want you to read certain things they might write about you or others you care about, in order to spare your feelings, avoid drama or maintain their privacy. You should respect this and immediately stop going to the site, and never relay any information you gather at their site to others who might use it against them...."
I might take a blog break, as I'm feeling pretty awful... hope and pray.
I'm considering changing the setting of this blog to "Private". I'm just thinking of it tho... so if you get an email... or if you'd like to be added... stay tuned. Nothing has been decided as of yet.
Hopefully this mess can be dialogued together with the parties concerned tomorrow, as they've indicated their willingness to do. I know I'm sure willing to apologise and explain what I said and am feeling!
I'm not looking forward to a sleepless night tonight... this is causing me maximum stress. I don't handle stress well these days, unfortunately. Keep me in your thoughts tonight.
Peas be with ewe
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