Go figure.
I'm absolutely shattered and too distressed to talk about it. I've upset people I had absolutely no intention of upsetting.
I'm very upset that I have unintentionally hurt people I love and care for, yet that was never my intention.
My apologies if anything I say on here is taken out of context. I'm not perfect. I have good days and not-so-good days. Doesn't everyone?
This little band has been a huge vital and passionate part of my life for the past 18+ months. How can I ever feel anything but love and respect for these guys? Doesn't anyone else ever have an off day?
No, I was right... apparently I am an asshole.
I just didn't know it.
Looks like people do not read or respect this stuff... you know... the flashing note at the top of my blog page?
"Do not assume that you know everything there is to know about a writer simply because you read their weblog on a regular basis. Any judgements you make will be based on the information they have provided you about themselves, which is probably vague, incomplete or embellished. Whatever opinion you form on them as people, or their life as a whole, is probably best kept to yourself. Remember, you are the reader. An obvious exception to this would be if someone were asking for advice or opinions...
"... If you have a real life relationship with the writer, remember that communication is very important. View weblogs as online journals, no less sacred than a diary hidden between the mattresses. First of all let them know that you read their site, especially if they did not tell you personally...
"...It is important that as a friend, relative, co-worker or whatever you may be to the writer, that your presence at their weblog not impede their ability to express themselves. Remember this is their outlet. They may not want you to read certain things they might write about you or others you care about, in order to spare your feelings, avoid drama or maintain their privacy. You should respect this and immediately stop going to the site, and never relay any information you gather at their site to others who might use it against them...."
http://www.namaii.com/readme/
I might take a blog break, as I'm feeling pretty awful... hope and pray.
Later...
I'm considering changing the setting of this blog to "Private". I'm just thinking of it tho... so if you get an email... or if you'd like to be added... stay tuned. Nothing has been decided as of yet.
Hopefully this mess can be dialogued together with the parties concerned tomorrow, as they've indicated their willingness to do. I know I'm sure willing to apologise and explain what I said and am feeling!
I'm not looking forward to a sleepless night tonight... this is causing me maximum stress. I don't handle stress well these days, unfortunately. Keep me in your thoughts tonight.
Peas be with ewe
Cyalayta,
Mal :)
Cyalayta,
Mal :)
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I will be honest I have never clicked on the flashing readme, in all honesty I didn't even realise it was a link and I am computer savvy.
ReplyDeleteI thought you were just drawing attention to your bio part on the side of the page.
Thanks for drawing that to my attention. I've done something about that.
ReplyDeleteHmmm! I think I know exactly where you are coming from! Big hugs and smoochies, Mwah, Mwah, Mwah xxxxoooxxxx
ReplyDeletePeople said for me to do this...go private...but I realised I would miss the wonderful lottery og tose who just pass by...bugger them al Mal...write and do what comes and let the devil take the hindmost.
ReplyDeleteHope you guys can all talk about it and sort it out... it might even sort a few things out and see if everyone is on the same page? Fingers crossed!
ReplyDeleteRight. Lets get one thing straight from the off. You know I kind of speak from teh hip Mal so I'll not bugge rabout. If you write an open and honest blog and people know that you do it, don't be suprised when they read it. I hated my last blog because I felt that I had lost control of it because I was beginging to feel as if my writing was becoming diluted because of those I knew who were reading it. When you get to that stage it's time for a change. So I tore up my blogger account and started again over on Wordpress. I have the same problems but I am not interested if those that read it know what I think or not. Fuck 'em. They're not my problem. People in bands are generally arseholes in my opinion (includin gme). My lot are no exception (no offence lads) but I do try to refrain from writing that they are arseholes at times, although if somebody has upset me a little I might have a discreet moan about it. The thing is you are a talented musician and you need people to play with. If you can't get that from the guys that you play with becasue they can't get it tohgether enough to tie their own shoes you should elbow them and start all over again. Form Mal's band. With Mal's rules. Play Mal's songs and do what Mal wants. Stop pissing in the wind with no hope dopes that hav estarted taking umbridge because they've sneaked a peek at your (public) diary. They don't know you that well if they are getting uptight because you feel the need to play music with proper musicians. Bathhurst is probably a small town. I dunno. But that might prevent you from networking with other musos. If it is not, and there is a vibrant music scene goin gdown, jump on board. You, as you well know mate, are only limited by your own desire to do as you please. Follow your heart and you won't go wrong. Find some players that WANT to play week in week out. Don't waste time on wally's that can't be arsed. You wil lonly continue to be frustrated. Nuff said.
ReplyDeleteInterestingly, you are not the first person that has had these issues....it seems to be a growing problem for many blog owners!
ReplyDeleteGood luck keeping them together.
Well said everyone. And I'm not going to piss in your pocket here because I know that's not what you want to hear (plus it's messy). What you feel is what you feel and you have every entitlement to write that on your blog. Artists of all kinds, by the very nature of their craft, are egotistical, that's not an insult it's just how it is, and how it should be to a point. You are a sensitive soul, and that won't change. Who knows, after the initial hurt feelings, your words may well bring about change for the positive for you all, whether it's together or not together.
ReplyDeleteFeel better soon.
I will be thinking of you (hugs)
ReplyDelete(((((((((HUGS))))))))
ReplyDeleteHope things can work out.
Like i say at work...if i complain about something..it's just to vent and i don't really want to hurt someones feelings...but once i leave work absolutely nothing comes home with me! Get it off my chest and that's all!
Mal,
ReplyDeleteI hate when things like this happen on blogs. I deleted my old blog, A Life of Triggers because I was so upset. I did it too quickly, a knee jerk reaction. It is sad that people take your words and take them out of context. I hope you'll keep on with your blog.
Hugs.