Sunday, 6 April 2008

One Word

Matt, Mick and I played an "Unplugged" acoustic guitar short set last night, at a local church family "Cafe Night" in one of the local halls. Just three quick songs, a bit of crowd participation, and smiles all around.

Three unplugged acoustic guitars. One microphone. Lots of light and shade... you could have heard a pin drop when we started with Pink Floyd's "Breathe"... it's such a great, unusual piece to turn heads and ears in our direction!

Yes yes, we had lots of fun doing it... we literally walked in, tuned-up as they introduced us, and played and ad-libbed as we went... but playing songs we'd all done together before. A classic example of "rehearsed spontaneity"!

Trust me (D'oh)... I played guitar, sang "Breathe" (Mick sang the other two songs), harmonica and "egg" (like half a maraaca!) - oh, and some solid foot-stomping country-folk-style on the wooden floorboards! heh heh.

Mat 'complained' that it was the quietest he'd ever played anywhere!

I actually adore playing like that... just unplugged acoustics playing within the natural sound-acoustics of the small room, and playing off each other to create a really warm intimate feel. Playing to people, rather than just in front of people (does that make sense?)

I actually prefer that kinda playing situation to a whole band thing. Don't get me wrong... I love playing in and with a band, but the musical dynamics of an unplugged event is just beautiful to be involved with. You have to really work to create a mood - and we did that within the first five seconds.

A good time was had by all.

Matt has been saying for the last six months-or-so (that's about how long I've known him?) that he wants to get out of this town (he's born and bred here and never really lived anywhere else...). From what he was saying in the last few weeks and days, I think that's sooner than later. He's totally exhausted working endless shift work for an ungrateful employer. He'll probably end up in another State somewhere as a driver or something totally different.

I think he needs to do it. He needs to grow up and spread his wings, basically.

He's even emotionally steadied himself to leave the band, which he readily admits is the only positive thing happening in his life at the moment... it's what he lives for, he says.

But he knows with all the other people floating about in Box of Sox, him moving on won't be a huge loss musically. And he's accepting that.

I expect him to be gone by the end of the month, between you and me. I can see him just up and going, just like that.

He really needs to do it. For himself.

It always seems to be the way.

Just as I really start getting close to someone as a friend, they move on.

No wonder I just find it so hard to feel open to many people anymore. I'm really exhausted of investing and risking vulnerability with a few other close personal friends, and then they move away and the friendship ultimately changes.

But it's what Matt needs to do for himself. And that's the more important thing.

When push comes to shove, I only have one really close personal and intimate friend i feel totally confident to share and be vulnerable with, after Matt moves away.


(I had lunch with him yesterday, actually, thank god! Thank you, Mr Hoon).

And I'm a bloke who used to be surrounded by people who claimed to be my close intimate friends, with whom I shared myself in very intimate ways friendship-wise. Those so-called 'Christians'...

So yeah... I think I've said it somewhere else... I prize the value of interpersonal "trust" very highly, and I've been gypped so many times, had trust betrayed by numerous people with gossip and (honestly) lies, I find it really difficult to leave myself open to many people anymore.

That's really sad. I don't like being like this. But I'm just too scared to continually being hurt over and over again by people who promise so much, and in the end just throw it all back in your face and mock you with it.

It takes me so long these days to get to a point where I really start to TRUST someone enough to make myself open and vulnerable to them.

And then to have them throw it back in your face...

Oh, shut up, Mal.

I think I'll just crack open a bottle of my expensive red instead, whatdoyareckon? lol

Nah, I'll listen to my favoured NRL team Manly playing Souths on the radio instead.

Daylight savings ended for us last night... 3am became 2am... yes yes, I totally forgot to wind my clock back one hour. Not to worry on a quiet laid-back cloudy Sunday.

Thank you to everyone who contributes to my humble little blog by posting your comments. I sincerely really appreciate it. Thank you very much.

I normally don't do too many memes these days...but this looked simple enough. Thanks to Caroline for the meme.

The rule! Remember:
You Can Only Type One Word

1. Where is your mobile phone? ~ printer

2. Your significant other? ~ unknown

3. Your hair? ~ shorter

4. Your mother? ~ passed away

5. Your father? ~ faithful

6. Your favorite thing? ~ sons

7. Your dream last night? ~ flying

8. Your favorite drink? ~ juice

9. Your dream/goal? ~ unfocused

10. The room you’re in? ~ bedroom

11. Your ex? ~ blonde

12. Your fear? ~ backwards

13. Where do you want to be in 6 years? ~ asleep

14. Where were you last night? ~ playing

15. What you’re not? ~ sane

16. Muffins? ~ blueberry

17. One of your wish list items? ~ Greece

18. Where you grew up? ~ Sydney

19. The last thing you did? ~ sleep

20. What are you wearing? ~ t-shirt

21. Your TV? ~ LG

22. Your pets? ~ Thoon

23. Your computer? ~ Acer

24. Your life? ~ dull

25. Your mood? ~ despondent

26. Missing someone? ~ YES

27. Your car? ~ blue

28. Something you’re not wearing? ~ sox

29. Favorite Store? ~ Music

30. Your summer? ~ uneventful

31. Like someone? ~ unrequited

32. Your favorite color? ~ orange

33. When is the last time you laughed? ~ yesterday

34. Last time you cried? ~ unknown

35. Who will/would re-post this? ~ Paige

~~~Have fun!~~~

There are 269 days remaining until the end of the year.

In 1327, the poet Petrarch first sees his idealized love, Laura, in the church of Saint Clare in Avignon. (Isn't that a beautiful concept? Pure loveliness. "Idealized love").

Raphael, Italian painter and architect born in 1483 (d. 1520). (Artists move me... how they manage capture the essence of a moment of time so creatively continues to astound me).

Napoleon abdicates in 1814. He is then exiled to Elba. (Now there's an asswipe, surely?)

1896 - In Athens, the opening of the first modern Olympic Games 1,500 years after being banned by Roman Emperor Theodosius I.

In 1909, Robert Peary and Matthew Henson allegedly reach the North Pole. (In everything I've ever read about the guy, I don't think he really got there in truth. he treated his Native American 'sherpa' Henson like an animal as soon as they got back to 'civilization'... Perry was obviously an ass!)

1917 (World War I): United States declares war on Germany.
Peas be with ewe

Subscribe Subscribe to this Blog


  1. First...what is "Thoon" your pet... our doggie is Thorn...almost a Thoon... unless its a red backed spider.

    Re making friends etc...I have four sisters and two daughters in their 30's (just) My daughters are best friends now that they are adult. But as for an unrelated "friend" after 54 years I have one really good friend and would be as devastated if anything happened to her as I think I would be for a sister... but only one close friend...and I know this for sure after the past year. She stuck through all the horror.

    But there is always risk in loving someone, letting them close to you...better a life lived with this risk than an life of complete solitude.

    We human beings seem to take that risk over and over....I think its our nature...
    I'm happy with my one close friend because Don and I became very self sufficient because of his don't get asked anywhere much because for most its too much of a over the years we were best mates truely...and our one good friend was a constant.

    Now I am happy to be on my own and see her once or twice a week... my dog is good company...

    I haven't closed myself off, just honed it down to a true friend and there is a massive risk there...but its worth that would be so much poorer without that risk... and we humans need someone...even if they may leave or die or whatever.

    Quality not quantity

  2. Thoon is my goldfish! heh heh.

    Yes, i appreciate "better to have loved and lost...". i really do.

    i'm just very fragile after living so many years of having that happen to me over and over again.

    It's like starting from scratch every single time. I don't know if i have the emotional energy to start again emotionally with someone new yet again.

    But you're right (of course), because I will.

    Ahh, sometimes I need to just talk, you know.

    Thank you for your wisdom, I really appreciate it.

    Mal :)

  3. I am just happy that instead of sitting at home you seem to keep yourself busy.

    God puts people in our lives for whatever reason...for some kind of impact on them or for ourselves...if were lucky we keep them in our lives despite what comes around. I was completely devistated when my best friend moved 3 hours away. But I still know that no matter what i can pick up the phone or in a heartbeat she will be down here in a flash if i needed her.
    Mal, I read about all your friends these days....when i first started you did not speak of any have come a long way hun...keep it up!!Don't forget all your cyber friends that care :) muah!

  4. Sounds like cafe night is the way to go for you most of the time there Mal. It really is to bad we live a few thousand miles apart. I would love to have the opportunity to sit down and be creative with someone as talented as yourself. *sigh*

    I know exactly what you talk about when you say you played quietly, and you have to work to create a mood. I think that is the most satisfying way of playing in public. There are so many benefits to being mostly unplugged.

    Matt sounds like he needs to go. I know to some extent what you are going through and Catherine is right about the reason people are in your life. Sometimes they just need to be around you for some reason and then they have to move on. It is almost as if they are gathering experience from you to take with them. It is a chapter in his life, and it is closing, a new one opening, and life goes on.

    Trust is funny, as is friendship. I have not figured out completely what its all about. I have had friends come and go, trust thrown to the wayside, and not, and it seems to me that we sometimes take friends too seriously at times. I think trust is an earned thing. I tend to trust people to a point. If they betray that trust, I am prepared to accept that betrayal. That seems to be the basis of my trust. Example: I trust you with a secret, you break that trust, I have already accepted that the secret is going to be out there. So there is no terrible outcome for me, but that trust wont be there again. It kinda works like that for me I suppose. The big things that I worry about, I won't share with anyone but my wife, she has earned my trust over 20 years, shes safe.

    I suppose that we aren't supposed to have many life long friends. I have a few, but they are very few, and far between. They come and go, and sometimes they come back. I think we have to enjoy them while they are here, and love them enough to let them go when the time comes.

    Don't let the lack of emotionally whole people in your life hold back your own happiness or wholeness. Life is far to short to wait around of people to get their heads screwed on straight. If you wait for them, you'll be 100 before they are ready.

    Work on you and you alone, others will come when they are ready, and the solid you are, the more solid people will want to be around you.

    ((hugs)) Hang in there man.

  5. I love listening to an acoustic guitar set. Sounds awesome.

    I hate that about life - friends moving in and out. The ones you REALLY love never really go away too far - especially now days with e-mail. It is easy to keep in touch.

  6. Wow... thank you... I'm... I'm really speechless with appreciation. Seriously!