Monday, 26 March 2007

(*) Happy Birthday, Big Brother!

My one and only Big Brother turns the magnificent 53 today! Yay! I am missing him being around so close these days, but I am glad and happy for him and 'C' up in Cairns. It's kinda weird not having any real family close nowdays... the boys, naturally. But now my bros' moved like 3,000 kms away, there's no one at all. Sheesh. But at least we're able to communicate thru email, and the phone calls aint too expensive either. Yeah, I really do miss him.

Totally randomly, I got all teary thinking about my dad this arvo... even tho he's passed away like almost eleven years ago, I still really miss him, just to be able to call him up and say hi, you know?

I had a weird memory of when my personal 'grief' kicked in in a major way for him, about a month after his funeral. Wow... heavy stuff! Yeah, just hit me like a ton of bricks while I was driving down the road. I had to pull over, and I just sobbed and howled for about 10 minutes, uncontrollably. But I let myself do it. The whole time it was just yelling out, "No! No!" over and over again! Why did my dad have to leave me? It's still a strong emotion, but I'm really glad I was able to let it all 'go' back then in the car. Ya, I still really miss him being around. But if he was still alive he would be very very sick and probably a shadow of the man we all remember him as. Ya, as someone said once, he went at a good time... but in our own selfish timeframes, there never is a 'right time' for someone to leave us, huh?

Subscribe Subscribe to this Blog


  1. I have not lost my parents yet but i know the feeling of losing a grandma, I still find myself crying every once in while when i think of her. Losing my parents would be even greater lose.

  2. You know, to be brutally honest, I don't think deep-down emotionally have ever 'got over' my fathers' death. My ex-wife always considered that crap [basically], yet when MY mother passed away, she was totally devestated, yet couldn't accept MY feelings - hey, they were MY parents! I'd lost MY partents, yet in the end she somehow managed to convey the message that they wer HER loss. Anyways...
    Yeah, like I said, I dunno if you really ever get over the daeth of your parents. maybe you should... maybe some brainy psychologist has a name for it, but whatever it is, ya, i still miss my parents, especially my dad. Not on a day-to-day basis, but just a deep-down sense of seperation.
    Blah blah blah...