tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1899193538457209754.post1085724521982871187..comments2024-03-21T17:09:43.928+11:00Comments on Mal's Gherkin Pram: IronyMal Kiely [Lancelots Pram]http://www.blogger.com/profile/09550832509641597913noreply@blogger.comBlogger10125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1899193538457209754.post-28360304474454516762008-12-13T14:26:00.000+11:002008-12-13T14:26:00.000+11:00Thank you all so much. So much combined wisdom. I'...Thank you all so much. So much combined wisdom. I'm trying to kep things positive whenever I'm in touch with the boys and their mum. Always.<BR/><BR/>But it's sometimes not so easy.<BR/><BR/>Patience... I'll be an old man by the time all this passes, or I'll already be dead, and they'll never know me. catch-22.<BR/><BR/>A book sounds like an interesting idea. A very good idea, in fact. Almost inspirational, in fact. [scratches chin thoughtfully]. Considering I've technically got nothing to do for the next year, a book could definitely be in the works. [ponder ponder ponder]<BR/><BR/>Hope I don't cark it first tho! lolMal Kiely [Lancelots Pram]https://www.blogger.com/profile/09550832509641597913noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1899193538457209754.post-4821255512003522502008-12-13T12:18:00.000+11:002008-12-13T12:18:00.000+11:00Your earlier post had me reliving so many things y...Your earlier post had me reliving so many things yesterday, I thought about the stuff that went down with my older kids all day. Main point is, and you said it, never put their mum down to them (vent to us all you like though, it helps). <BR/>Therese's idea is a wonderful one. Write it all down for them. I am currently writing a book for my kids to tell MY side of the story, with no bitterness, just facts. My older children are all adults now, and are starting to realise what really happened now they know I love them and want to be part of their lives. My oldest girl especially now feels resentment towards her stepmother for keeping them from me. Unfortunately this will happen to your sons too eventually. The saddest thing is, boys need their father so much, and you seem like such a wonderful, sensitive and caring man and they are missing out on all that you could be contributing to their lives.<BR/>How dare the school not recognise you as a father with parental rights? I am so angry as I write this. It's just all so wrong.<BR/>But have patience as I did. My two girls and I are now in regular contact, and my son will come around as he gets older too.FoxyMoronhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13540367675466917677noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1899193538457209754.post-7173341022092731712008-12-13T05:02:00.000+11:002008-12-13T05:02:00.000+11:00I'm hoping I simply do not loose any sanity I have...I'm hoping I simply do not loose any sanity I have left before the boys are old enough to be able to make those decisions for themselves. JD at 15 knows full well whats been going on - and there's no way I'm gonna say anything negative about their mother to them. It's not their role to be messengers or have negativities cast upon them. That's simply not fair on them or their mum.<BR/><BR/>but yeah... can I stay sane long enough to be able to enjoy a life with my own children in the meantime? That's my dillema. And it's driving me slowly crazy.<BR/><BR/>Blah blah blah batshit.Mal Kiely [Lancelots Pram]https://www.blogger.com/profile/09550832509641597913noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1899193538457209754.post-31782798075881562392008-12-12T15:16:00.000+11:002008-12-12T15:16:00.000+11:00I have no children so its hard for me to understan...I have no children so its hard for me to understand how you could even <I>like</I> the little rotters let alone miss them, pine after them, worry about them. <BR/><BR/>Murder? Kidnap? Suicide? I'm sure all these options have been considered. Your boys will grow up quickly (apparently) and will all too suddenly be free to make up their own minds about when/where/and how long they see you. Indeed you may be still trying to get rid of them in ten-fifteen-twenty years when they're <I>still</I> sponging on Dad because he's such a softy and so terribly guilt-ridden for all those years of wanton neglect. You heinous bastard--you.<BR/><BR/> I have a friend in a similar situation; well lots of people are in a similar situation. He doesn't know where his daughter is and hasn't seen her in over five years, as law or no law her mother absconded.Linkhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12346948772651971988noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1899193538457209754.post-12732686759389281452008-12-12T14:14:00.000+11:002008-12-12T14:14:00.000+11:00Holidays are suppose to be happy and jolly, but so...Holidays are suppose to be happy and jolly, but sometimes for other people it brings them down. I know i would be upset if i couldn't be with my children on an important holiday. <BR/><BR/>Have you talked with the boys? Maybe they can sway your ex? They are at an age that they should be making some decisions on where and when they want to be. <BR/>(((((BIG HUGE HUGS))))))))))))♥Caroline♥https://www.blogger.com/profile/00364909664839680979noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1899193538457209754.post-43054989181949614632008-12-12T12:03:00.000+11:002008-12-12T12:03:00.000+11:00Horrible scenario for you. I'm a female - mother -...Horrible scenario for you. I'm a female - mother - who had it happen to me. My daughters dad took her overseas for an approved / agreed 18 months and didn't return for 9 years... during which time I couldn't see her, presents were returned ripped up and phone cords pulled out of the wall so I couldn't get through at the allocated time. Oh and they moved several times as well - so i had to constantly track them down.<BR/><BR/>I don't want to depress you with my story except to say there will be light at the end of the tunnel because my daughter came home. Her dad found her too much to handle when she entered her teenage years and he needed "help". <BR/><BR/>However on top of this - she has admitted she knew the scenario was wrong and she would have come looking for me regardless.<BR/><BR/>I reckon your boys will do the same.<BR/><BR/>Stay sane for them... keep a diary and photos and share you life when they are ready, old enough and you can share a beer together or whatever it is. Life isn't always immediately now... it's a life - and it takes a bludy long time :)<BR/><BR/>xxxcharlieCharliehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17060062059791353300noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1899193538457209754.post-67172479051756527452008-12-12T11:58:00.000+11:002008-12-12T11:58:00.000+11:00Here is something which might help you a little or...Here is something which might help you a little or help the boys in the future...you can write well, we all know this...so<BR/><BR/>our family were all great letter writers...mum would write letters and in each one was a story about some time in childhood or a story about us as kids etc.<BR/><BR/>When our daughters both left home at 17 to see the big wide world..i thought my heart would never mend...so each week i would write them a 4/5 page letter about what had happened that week, or something funny i had seen, something remembered from childhood. One answered often the other not so often...but they still have those letters and they tell a story.<BR/><BR/>Could you maybe write an individual letter to each son, just with a jike or something in it...something personal from your own life, whatever... nothing she can use against you in any way and just give it to them when you see them, just ebfore you say goodbye. <BR/><BR/>You may never get much of an answer but mayvbe something will go inot them of you and of how you feel about the world and them etc...but written down, something they can hold onto...Its a bit of a disclipine and i would use many hours doing this...not now as we are in touch by the bloody phone...sad...but still<BR/><BR/><BR/>worth a shot...<BR/><BR/><BR/>re milk from cartons...thats laughable, but if you grew up in the coutry its hard to imagine people really don't knowMiddle Childhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09962830669606760640noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1899193538457209754.post-67743992440010177702008-12-12T11:45:00.000+11:002008-12-12T11:45:00.000+11:00You've been nominated for a Butterfly award from m...You've been nominated for a Butterfly award from me too! I subscribed to you blog so I dont miss anything you have to say. Sorry about the frustration about the ex-wife and kids, but I see you have a great relationship with them when you have them, and NOBODY can take that away from you!gammamomahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12995472696807781835noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1899193538457209754.post-13680550365183396082008-12-12T08:53:00.000+11:002008-12-12T08:53:00.000+11:00Mal, I agree with the city folk answers to those q...Mal, I agree with the city folk answers to those questions, but having lived in regional areas for a very long time, I have to say that the country folk could pull their heads out of their butts occasionally.<BR/><BR/>Off the top of my head, here's some questions and answers...<BR/><BR/>Q. Where does beer come from. A. the pub.<BR/>Q. Where do tractors come from. A. the dealership.<BR/>Q. Where does electricity come from. A. the power point.willowtreehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09173637121496772685noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1899193538457209754.post-13077866333879005112008-12-12T07:20:00.000+11:002008-12-12T07:20:00.000+11:00I'm very sorry about your frustration over being a...I'm very sorry about your frustration over being a non-custodial parent. I see the pain with the parents I work with, who do not have custody. Keep having hope, things will get better. You have two amazing boys, who adore you. That will only get stronger, no matter what goes on with the rights/visitation. Believe.<BR/><BR/>Take Care of yourself. Smile and enjoy your day.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com